Almost May

As a few of you know, the last two years of my life have been one of the most hectic. But this year probably tops them all. I've now been in this program for 8 months and phase up to the final phase in one month. If that all happens and goes well...I will graduate in July. I will get to move up to transitional housing where the girls and I can save a little bit more for that rainy day. I don't know yet if I will stay here in California after it's all said and done, but I'm hoping that I go wherever God plans me to go.

I was thinking today about something, I was looking at pictures of people in my family and I asked a friend of mine if they thought I was a failure. She told me no, she thought I was making the best of my situation and a very strong person. That was hard because here the rest of my family has homes, houses and everyone looks happy. Me on the other hand, I'm in a failing marriage, been a single mom for eight months and I'm living in a homeless shelter. Granted, I'm putting my life back on the line by going back to school to become a Women's pastor, but it's hard not to see that as a failure. I guess the closer and closer I get to God, I don't see how my dad and step mom can really call themselves a Christian when they themselves (who think they are perfect) have so much more to learn. When I told my step mom that I was going to become a pastor, I never heard anything again from her via email. She's thinks I'm lying...that's fine. I'll show her one day. I know it's going to take me awhile, but my climb is so much more worthwhile then anyone can imagine.

Bellie has been sick these past two days, but she seems better now. I'm heading back to Proflowers tomorrow for work, part of me wants to stay with them but I know I need to go. I think Elizabeth would like to go back to Daycare, she likes it there. So does Bella, but it's hard for me. I miss them so much. We are going on our first overnight pass this weekend. I'm renting a hotel room for us, and I'm gonna sleep in! Relax, watch tv...enjoy the finer things in life for just a bit! I'm excited and going to bring my camera. I just realized I REALLY need to take more pictures of the girls. Especially my little Lizzy. Okay, I'm off for now! God Bless and hope you guys have a good week, that's if you even read this blog anymore!